Metal Blog – NME.COM: The Twenty Heaviest (Metal) Records Of All Time by John Doran

This blog has been written to upset you. “OMFG! He’s compiled a list of the world’s heaviest albums and not included ‘Necrotic Wolf Enslavement’ by Crepuscular Molestation Cauldron!”, “No ‘Massive Fucking Apocalypse’ by Cataclysmic Death Flange – no credibility!” Don’t worry that the concept of heaviness in any kind of music is utterly subjective…

…anyway, I hope some of these albums enrich your week – if not your entire life. All of them to a man, are so heavy they deserve to be listened to on one knee, facing north, drinking red wine out of an upturned skull goblet while wearing the most extravagant hat you own and displaying the kind of pained expression that suggests you’ve just trodden on an upturned plug with bare feet.

1: Electric Wizard – Dopethrone
We might as well get the obvious one out of the way first. Dorset Satanic doom revivalists Electric Wizard set the bar to a new all time low at the turn of the century when they recorded this masterpiece. The Palace Of Heaviness is accessed by the Road Of Excess via the Tradesman’s Entrance Of Bad Vibes and the band’s daily intake of vodka, cannabis, speed and LSD while recording means this album is sick in every sense of the word. If you don’t own this album, stop what you are doing now and purchase it. Put it on your stereo, smoke a lid and then await enlightenment. Or enheavyment as the case may be.
Taster track: ‘Funeralopolis’
Heavier than: Dr Manhattan’s massive blue cock in a giant lead condom.

2: SunnO))) – ØØ Void
At the end of 2009 the track ‘Hunting & Gathering (Cydonia)’ from SunnO)))’s ‘Monoliths & Dimensions’ was named the Heaviest Song of All-Time by American radio DJ Jason Ellis. This is as may be but you need to go to the beginning of their career to hear the album so heavy that it created its own weather system. Stephen O’Malley and Greg Anderson first came up with the idea of playing extremely slow, drop tuned Melvins and Earth riffs at brain rupturing volumes while dressed as monks in the late 1990s. Some of their earliest gigs made people so angry that they took to playing behind their amplifiers instead of in front of them. Luckily for us, they persevered and their first sign of mass engorged genius was this, their second album in 2000.
Taster track: ‘Richard’
Heavier than: A brass elephant.

Continue reading: The Twenty Heaviest (Metal) Records Of All Time – Metal Blog – NME.COM – The world’s fastest music news service, music videos, interviews, photos and free stuff to win.

Tags: electric wizard, Godflesh, John Doran, NMe, sleep, sunn o))), thorr's hammer, ufomammut

This entry was posted on Thursday, May 19th, 2011 at 10:16 am and is filed under 2011, Playlists, Roadburn Recommended . You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.